Full disclosure: If you buy the book through the link, it won't cost you any more, but I'll get a few pennies. But my main motivation for doing this is to understand the book properly. What follows is my summary of the chapter.
We like
to think that we chose our habits on purpose. Yeah right.
Habits
build up slowly, like learning to back a car into a tight spot, and
we're not always aware that a habit is forming. We tend to assume
that we acquire habits as a means to an end. That includes bad
habits, although the goal might not be a good one – like getting
drunk to forget that you’re an alcoholic.
But
sometimes it's the other way around. If your daily walk in the park
goes past the ducks, you probably think you do it because you like
the ducks. You'll think that even if you did it at random the first
time, then the second time you did it because you did it the first
time, and the third time because you did it twice before, and so on.
The thing is, you're not lying; you really believe you chose it
because of the ducks. It's rather like being talked into buying a
more expensive car than you wanted, and then convincing yourself that
it was worth the extra money. Or changing your mind on an issue, and
then being convinced that you always held the view that you've only
held since last Thursday. We all want to be right, especially about
ourselves.
Of course
in real life our habits are some combination of intentions and past
behaviour. If a habit is weak (you don't do it that often) you tend
to do what you intended (drink more water, watch less TV, whatever).
But if you have a strong habit, like eating fast food for lunch every
working day, chances are the habit will win. Bizarrely, people with
strong habits tend to be more confident that they'll change even
though there's much less chance that they'll actually do so. We feel
we have more control exactly when we have least.
The main
difference seems to be the frequency. If you perform the habit a few
times a year, you can probably change. If you do it weekly or more,
it's going to be harder. If you do it every time you're in that
situation (sit in car, turn on radio: walk into Starbucks, order a
latte) it's going to be much harder.
For years
psychologists have successfully changed people's intentions. People
happily committed to low fat diets, wearing sunscreen, getting more
exercise etc. They just don't follow through.
Actually
many of our habits are fine. We formed them (or our parents formed
them for us) for good reason. It's a darn good idea to brush your
teeth, and to look both ways before crossing the street, however
preoccupied you are. But we tend not to notice these habits. Instead,
we notice the minority of habits which are creating trouble.
You
haven't failed to change those habits because you're weak. It's
because you're human.
