Aunties in their Panties

I had the most surreal dream last night. Two of my friends were doing a TV program, "Aunties in their Panties". (You have to say it with a northern accent so it rhymes.) Now these friends are large ladies, more seaside postcard than Barbie doll if you follow me. And there they were, in their new house, the one that needs all the building work. Helen showed off her new compost bin to the camera, dressed only in a leopard-print thong and bra. Then Theresa explained how to tell the sex of baby chickens, wearing just a scarlet thong and bra.

Then they had a tap dancing lesson from the cast of "Happy Feet," - yes, cartoon penguins - still wearing very little.

Finally the guy from Art Attack appeared. He used all sorts of stuff from a garden centre to make a giant picture of the two of them dancing the tango. They had rather more clothes on for that bit, as I recall. Black basques.

It's not like I'd been eating cheese. I haven't a clue what brought this on apart from the fact that we'd been telling Julio about the old kids' programme, "Bananas in Pyjamas". But I'm very glad that they think it's hysterical too.