Gay shoes

A Russian orthodox priest, Alexander Shumsky, says that the World Cup is a "homosexual abomination” because the players wear gay shoes.

He said: “Wearing pink or blue shoes, [the players] might as well wear women’s panties or a bra.
“The liberal ideology of globalism clearly wants to oppose Christianity with football. I’m sure of it.
“Therefore I am glad that the Russian players have failed and, by the grace of God, no longer participate in this homosexual abomination.”

Obviously this is not sour grapes because the Russian team are out. (They didn't win a single match.) Of course not.

Cue Monty Python:

I chop down trees, I eat my lunch,
I like to press wild flowers,
I put on women’s clothing,
And hang around in bars churches

Presumably, this is what Father Shumsky considers normal dress. Certainly women aren't allowed to wear it.

At this point I started worrying about my own shoes. You see, it's awfully hard to find size 43 women's trainers on La Palma, so all my trainers are men's trainers. Worn by a woman. Does this mean that they're transsexual?

I asked them if they wanted to visit the doctor, but they just stuck their tongues out at me.